Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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