if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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