she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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