You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
