there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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