I'm drive I can fine osifer
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
