butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
