No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
