i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
