we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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