East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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