SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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