i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
