So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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