Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize