...so i touched it.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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