I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I just shit out all my problems.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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