dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
