On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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