in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently you make a good broom.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
