The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
