Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
