i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
