just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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