i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
