Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize