We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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