you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
