he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
