Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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