He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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