if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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