It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I believe in your delicious
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
