I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
