can u get pink eye on your cock?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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