I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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