Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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