i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
