He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
