Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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