My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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