he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
