"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
