Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Actions speak louder than pants.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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