So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
