i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
