Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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