so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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