Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't deserve a penis
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
