My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize