Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
