I wish my penis had an off switch
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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