If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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