Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
