Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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