I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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