there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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